If I had met Obama and Unye

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So when potus met pork (president of the United States of America – POTUS, president of the Republic of Kenya – PORK)… Don’t even think of acronym of Nigeria, the social network was abuzz with what went on and who met whom.
Well I also did meet the two ‘kinda’.

Due to no effort from my end and after a rigorous security check by the US national security agency nsa, drug enforcement agency dea, cia, fbi, secret service and not to forget the Kenyan side; I was finally approved to meet the two after a vetting session by kavulundi and parliament.

So how was the meeting?

Unfortunately after a Friday party to celebrate obama’s landing, I was incapacitated and only recovered on Monday when potus was in addis.

So what is unye asking obama,  ‘you also know the guy…small world it has become ‘

2011 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2011 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 2,300 times in 2011. If it were a cable car, it would take about 38 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

DABO DABO AND THE SMART WAY TO STEAL

It has been a while and it doesn’t feel all that strange just a bit awkward for not having been blogging for a some time.

As folks get into the season of merry making and the odd present or two, our kenyan companies like most companies around the world are at it again. Buy two and get one free…or get the large bottle and get 15% free….

its that time for ‘free’ stuff…. and if you have no stuff to give and all you are selling is air then you either tell your customers that if you watch me and incessantly text me from morning till evening you me walk into our studio and have your picture taken with a big size cheque of say 1,000,000 kenya shilling.

Kwachu, tazama, ma mili are all very clever ways to make money from broke desperate kenyans like me. lets calculate here and see how we get robbed in living daylight

To send a Text message via GSM mobile network in kenya is roughly 3 shilling (that’s if you have to send across networks). So having gained my trust as your preferred television channel for the important soap opera from Mexico and Philippines (I like the one with a beautiful doctor who is a fashion designer who falls in love with  some guy), anyway because they have given me this important (i would die if I miss) television programme, I tend to believe that they have my best interest at heart.

Back to my Text messaging, so the television station tells me that I must keep watching this very educative and entertaining piece of mastery art and send to e preferred number an sms saying tazama, ma mili or something bla bla bla.   and the more a send the higher the chances are for me winning half a million or one million bob.

So what do I do, I get onto my phone book and text as many people while calling other asking them to join me in the quest of making me a millionaire. Oh did I forget to say that while I talk more on my networking i have a chance of also becoming a millionaire and winning a goat too.

Who ever that said that all good things comes in doubles was right.

Say but did you know that the cost of sending that SMS is 5 times more the cost of a normal SMS across the network. and by the time you finish reading this not so informative post that the companies involved will have made 20 times the prize money that they are giving per day.

Every time a winner dressed in their sunday best stands with a life size cheque of 500,000…the company involved will have made over 10 million bob. Not bad would you say..actually a brilliant how to get revenues quickly from desperate individuals like me.

and by the way you will have to pay tax on that winning that has you grinning from east to west.

Finally if you are not using a dual sim card mobile phone you must be from europe or the west. All cousins of mine those that live in Kabaka Land and Bongo land are all walking with a dabo dabo phone.

Its really a nice device…. when credit is over on one I just switch to the other and you know what caught my eye ….. it is the guarantee given by the device makers 24months plus 1..

that would mean that each side has an extra 15 days….so what if it fell on february….I was born in february by the way.

2010 in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here’s a high level summary of its overall blog health:

Healthy blog!

The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever.

Crunchy numbers

Featured image

A Boeing 747-400 passenger jet can hold 416 passengers. This blog was viewed about 12,000 times in 2010. That’s about 29 full 747s.

In 2010, there were 10 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 71 posts. There were 2 pictures uploaded, taking up a total of 123kb.

The busiest day of the year was June 24th with 150 views. The most popular post that day was THE VERDICT : N96.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were twitter.com, search.conduit.com, bigextracash.com, 74.125.67.100, and cordless-homephone.info.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for nokia n96, n96, lg, nokia n97, and n97.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

THE VERDICT : N96 March 2009
2 comments

2

FROM LG COMES A VIEWTY July 2008

3

N97: NOKIA MOBILE COMPUTER December 2008
1 comment

4

N96 BORING AND SEXY February 2009
1 comment

5

OPERA MINI IN THE NOKIA 5310 XPRESSMUSIC. March 2008
4 comments

NOW SHOWING : KENYA E-COMMERCE

I met my John at one of the many pubs in the coastal city of Mombasa. We had a lot in common, apart from our love of all things gadget, we also had share problem; I never seem to get drunk while in any coastal town of Kenya.
John pointed at the possible humidity and after a couple glasses it made some sought of sense.

His major problem wasn’t the content level of alcohol in his blood by the rather frustration payment modes that are used in the country.
You can book online; searches online, bid online but not buy. For a nation that is labelled the financial hub of the region, communication centre, the lack of legislative laws to regulate and govern the use of E-Commerce is rather wanting.

For some reason things in Kenya just seem to happen. We have been lucky that geography favoured our position right smack at the centre of the planet. Even though we are 3 hours plus GMT, the good lord made it convenient that right at the intersection of the equator and the longitude zero degrees (GMT) no meaningful body or group of people would be possibly challenge the rather unique language situation that all school leavers in Kenya have or the over abundance of highly skilled and educated graduates that lazily walk around our towns.

So when parliament passed the Kenya Communication Bill 2008, there was an uproar that the bill as the ‘media owners’ said was directly going to interfere with the Kenyan endeavour of accessing and using information without interference of anyone or even state(Ch. 79 A, of the Kenyan Constitution). The Media owners always have their own agenda and unfortunately the public got the wrong and short end of the stick.
While it’s true that the Bill had glaring sections that needed sobriety, the over bill and now all have agreed frees up a lot of restrictions that will allow the faster development of the ICT sector.

Now it will be easier for any person whether Kenyan or otherwise be able to be protected guided by an act of parliament when setting up a BPO.
It becomes easier for someone to walk to a financial institution and say ‘hey we have a law now that say a,b,c,d on what a BPO is.
Even better what to us Kenyans dose the word E-COMMERCE means. Now you can search, bid, book and pay with ease over the net.

Another M-Pesa can bring out its product and say there is a law that says this about mobile banking or mobile money transfers.
All this are contained in the law, as such growth will be expected since as an investor or a player the field now has a referee.

As for John had he stayed longer he would have been able to settle his bill right here and just before his 10th or was it 12th beer. Cheers mate