Every Friday, both the living and the dead descend onto Nairobi paved roads creating traffic jams from 6.30am to 8pm. If you’re under belly is weak, then Nairobi on Friday isn’t the place for you. But then so do most Nairobians also agree to.

While Nairobians make plans to leave the city come any weekend (dependant on the availability of money) the rest of the east African peoples seem to be trooping into nai or enroot via Nairobi.

So what happens to the majority who have no plans no money and with many friends who have no money as well? Here is a taste of the weekend.

Three friends all married with young families. Known to many as Tom Dick and Harry, they are always together and light up Nairobi in ways that leave little to imagination.

One particular Friday

Tom called his side kicks to inquire what was on agenda…. Harry was very calm as always and said due to IMF (wife) the atm had been confiscated. But it was Dick who brought a long pause from the two.

He said that the wife thinks he is a witch….. cut the story short. Dick as he thought had the habit of putting a small bucket under his bed that he would use to pee into after a long night out of boozing. Dick couldn’t fathom the idea of getting out of bed in the middle of the night and dash to the toilet. So the best was to place the bucket and as wifey was in lala land he would whiz into the stop gap.

Well he had left the bucket under the bed for over three weeks and forgot about it till the wife decided to do some spring cleaning. Well you can imagine what the wife said…. so Dick thought it would be ill advised if he went out this Friday. What Dick eventually found out was that his is not such a unique story. Harry was using plastic bottles and it nearly turned disastrous when his hyper 3 year old decided t o have a sip of the ‘apple juice’. HR2 as the boy is known tasted it and didn’t like it and handed it to his mother who unfortunately took a big swig of the stuff.

After spitting it out she found several bottle of the ‘special apple cider’ under her bed and she let it out. According to un- substantiated reports from Harry there were about 12 one litre full bottles found under the bed. But how do this three get to this end.

The rule they abide with is that if you have to communicate you never TEXT but you must call. And when you get a call a plan is in the works. After a lot of soul searching on their perceived witchcraft, the decided that the best way to remove this unfortunate ideas and thoughts was to embark on a long night of emancipation.

For most nairobians, the best place to be on a Friday evening is either on kimathi street or the up market westlands shopping centre of Nairobi. In both these places there is a drinkery every second shop. As is the ‘rule’ in Kenya (not written in any law) apart from church with names like ‘the helicopter of god church’ one would be asking for the ‘taxi of god church’. Anyway this digression notwithstanding, Tom Dick and Harry excursions usually take them to the downtown area of Nairobi. Many people have always equated this area with the low lives of the city and as such its reputation is said to be that of wild wide west.

However things have changed, due to its high presence of security officers the area is relatively safe. And a plus, everything is this area is very cheap and of very good quality.

Here the three will part take sessions of Khat and feelings of grandiose will engulf them in just 20 odd minutes…. this continues

One Response

  1. Awesome. Now I know how to stay in bed for hours on end after a night out on the town.

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